LA actor diary
Is a maybe worse than a no?
Hello Substack family! Righto, let’s get straight to it, acting update.
I got a “maybe” which in some ways feels worse than no, it keeps you in this weird kind of limbo land. I taught myself through this whole “maybe” experience that I personally need to treat maybes as no’s. Otherwise I hold on too tight and ruminate over the what ifs.
The funny thing was, that as soon as I treated the maybe as a no and let the dream of that project go, I got a call back. So did all I have to do was simply let it go? There’s two words in yoga world that speak to practicing the art of non-attachment, one is linked to more materialistic objects and the other is linked to possessiveness or greed:
Vairāgya (वैराग्य): Dispassion, detachment, or freedom from worldly desires; the mental state of not being affected by attraction or aversion to sensory objects.
Aparigraha (अपरिग्रह): Non-possessiveness, non-greed, or non-hoarding; the ethical practice of taking only what is needed and letting go of grasping.
For me and this case of really wanting this role, I need to practice more Aparigraha. You see when I want something (like a role in feature film) I tend to work really hard to get the thing I badly want, I overthink and then hold on too tight to that thing. I had an acting coach say that I need to take a metaphorical shot of whiskey and let the fuck go before filming a self tape. Safe to say that I’m someone who gets way too caught up in their own head.
I think another thing I’d like to talk about is celebrating the little wins. After I submitted the self tape Matt made me a martini and we sat out on the balcony with the pup and celebrated the little win that was filming a self tape.
So heres a couple of piccys of us enjoying a martini post self tape!
All this to say; go after the big scary dreams, practice non-attachment whenever you feel like you’re holding on too tight and celebrate the little wins!
Big love - Lola